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A Letter from John Perrot to all that would be satisfied concerning him; written a little before his Death: Wherein the wise may see he was crucified with Christ, and that his life was hid in him.
To all simple hearts, whose Love in the Lord hath abounded to me; whose prayers have been for me, and desire to be satisfied concerning me.
Because you are many, and resident in remote parts, I write this to all as to one; forasmuch as I know that it is but one spirit in all, that is Life and the Perfecter of Peace in every Lamb. Let it therefore be communicated to that seed of Peace wherever it springs in any Heart.
Dear children, my faithful Salute reacheth onto you all in the dearness and purity of Affection; which is not of the Earth earthly, nor of the Flesh fleshy; nay nor of the Devil devilishly; but of the spirit spiritually, and of Heaven celestial; which with the kiss of a broken heart I send you.
I am with God at this moment open, naked, and deeply broken before him, remembring his mercies to David, which have reached to me wretched, and have followed me from my childhood to this present day; and whilst the glory of the Lord and his works of goodness are in mine eyes, let me tell my God and his People, that I am the vilest, the unworthiest, and the meerest for an Outcast of all; and do marvel that any Eye of Pity is over me. I am not to compare myself with any; for the Lord hath made me to know my self in part: and as for others he them best, and what he hath done for them.
{Page 19} Ah! why is there Contention about the righteousness of an unworthy man? Would God every man saw his own corruption, and the Lords righteousness, for then would every mans hand be laid on his own mouth. I beseech you all in the bowels of our Lord Jesus, that it be none of your labours to vindicate my righteousness, for there is none righteous but God; every man is perverse in his own way but let the Lord have a Pure way in you, which is long suffering and Patience, that your trouble be always in Content and Peace.
Ah! Plead not a cause for me, but let the Lord alone plead his own Cause in me to all that hunt after my poor soul; for I would rather die than wilfully kill a dying man, who hath swallowed up his own Bane or enmity.
And pacifie my Adversaries, bearing them this Message from me, I am viler and worse before the Lord than they have represented me in the eyes of Men, by evil and wrong reports; and if any of you will delight your selves in war, let it be with the Enemy of your own hearts; that your souls may delight them selves only in the Lord your God. If I am dead, cannot they be glad in that they live: If I am fallen, why do they not pray in mourning, that I may rise again? or why are they not satisfied and contented they stand; and live in fear, least they should fall also? Do all say, oh, ha he is fallen, he is fallen? Do the babes that I have suckled smite me, and do lips that I have kissed, betray me? Do those whom I have blessed curse me? and do those whose salutation I have sought slay me? What is every hand turned against me, and doth every heart stand aloof from me? Well, and what if yours did also, what if no Eye pitied me, what if no man had a Mantle or skirt to cast over me and cover me; but what if every Paper and Pen, with the composed colours of Enmity and Prejudice, were only to portray me, to paint me, and publish me, as a sign, as wallowing in blood, in my own blood, in my own filth and unclearness? Yet is there no God-in Israel nor salvation for Jacob? Is there no son of Sion that is called to wonder of Gods daies? shall not they raise the dead and strengthen and revive the dying? Or shall they kill the living, and raise the dead, and rake their Ashes out of the Grave, to make dead men live, to slay them again a fresh? Ah! how many times dead and yet killing, how many times slain and yet smiting? How many times cast away, and yet still casting away?
Yet Oh! my dear Friends, though all the evils is accounted mine, and the many deaths my Portion: Know ye notwithstanding, that I have so much life as to forgive all; and so little life as not to take vengeance on any, nor to seek it.
But I will wait to see the day wherein I may sincerly shew kindness to those that have none for me in the day of my tryal: and now it will be enough for me, if the Lord God of mercies shall do me this favour, that as the prejudice of many encreases, so my love may encrease; as the cruelties of others abound, {Page 20} mercies in me may wax great as oppressions in others to me-ward grow more and more, patience and forgiveness of spirit may flourish; and this I the Lord of mercy pray for, and intreat you to beg of God on my behalf; that I may yet live, though but to put my neck, under the feet of those who once durst not attempt the putting their hands where my Feet stood.
Lambs, you must bear with me, for I am a man of sorrows, and of grief; and my grief is before the living God.
Children, I pray you be wise and not (?) trouble in your minds touching me, with out a just Cause; for one thing (?) from the Lord, engaging to a thing, and another thing the indignation of a mans mind, in order to his proper affect on or interest in necessary (?). Wherefore know ye, that I was first obliged to come to Jamaica, and in obedience was given to stay the fulnes of time, which I was shewed to be the Lords pleasure concerning me, and when I departed, it was in freedom; and my purposes for England were but in freedom: but when my freedom from the Lord was turned into Bondage, and that bondage became my freedom in God, I was contented to obey; so that truly in that particular, the evil was not in mine intention, but prejudiced minds constructions.
But oh! Surely he that watcheth for evil which ariseth of an evil heart, shall not be excused, but he that watcheth to make an evil of anothers simple just intention, will be condemned. Yet truly I judge no man, for I am not willing to know the good from the evil (speaking of persons) until mens evils are over, that I may receive all as one in God; who onely and alone is good XR7276.
I see no evil thing, as evil, of or amongst Gods works, without me, that anything thereof should be detested of me, but all are good as he made them and blessed them, nor do I see so much in any man as I am made to see in my self, and therefore desire to cease from upbraiding any, and apply my self more inward, that my Rest may be found in the Lord XR5329.
And I would rather cease preaching the Gospel of Peace from God, and good will to men, and live the life, than preach without the life in me.
Finally, Dear Babes, Let me beg you with the present (?) of mine Eyes, not to look upon me as you have done, setting me where you should not do, nor look for voices from me, but as the Lamb himself spake, who though he is silent, yet is the same, and changeth not, and if the work of my day is wrought and over, yet murmur ye not, that another must work farther. For I have served God in my Generation, and discharged an honest conscience amongst you all, and yet the next generation in a purer glory shall shine in that life which (by more than words) I have exemplified to Israel, yea amongst my brethren, in a good measure; and I boast not but give the Evidence of {Page 21} Gods goodness and mercy to me therein: to whom be glory for ever. Let none receive me, but those that see my soul.
John Perrot
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